Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Additional Thoughts on Finishing Well

By the grace of God and the ingenuity of man I have been able to live a convenient life. Between Wal-Mart, McDonalds, cable TV, the internet and credit cards I have or can easily get whatever I need and much of what I want. For the most part I see this as all good. However, there is a down side to a convenient life. Christian virtues such as perseverance and endurance are left undeveloped in a convenient environment.

It’s impossible to finish well without perseverance and endurance. Heck, it’s impossible to finish at all without them. I’m concerned that our American church culture has somehow equated difficulty with evil, sin and demonic attack. In other words, “if God was really in this, it would be easier”. Maybe not, maybe God is in the hard thing.

The journeys of every major biblical figure required perseverance and endurance. This includes Jesus himself as well as the first century church. It’s either naive or foolish to think we are some how immune.

Saint Paul viewed his difficulties very differently than we American Christians do…

“…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…”
Romans 5:3-5

Hmmm… could it be that my inconveniences and my difficult circumstances are the very tools God’s using to produce in me the perseverance, character & hope I’ll need to finish well? Yes, it could well be. The easy way out usually isn’t God’s way.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. In the midst of chemotherapy I made the decision to enjoy the good days, endure the bad days and just keep going forward. This mindset has served me well through many challenges, be they physical, emotional, relational or spiritual.

Father, give me the grace I need to finish well. Develop in me the perseverance, character and hope I need to finish the race you have marked out for me. Help me to enjoy the good days, endure the bad days and just keep going forward. Please Father, allow me to see your hand in it all, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

“Never, never, never give up!” Winston Churchill

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Finishing Well

I’m a big fan of the New York Giants. Yes, please do pray for me. Today was painful. For three quarters the Giants were leading 21 – 0. In the fourth quarter they gave up 21 unanswered points. To add insult to injury, with 23 seconds left Eli Manning threw an interception leading to a game losing field goal.

My Giants didn’t finish well. Grrr….

Have you noticed that it’s much easier to start well than it is to finish well? It’s exciting to start a new endeavor. However, perseverance, dedication and endurance are required to see it to the end. My guess is that most people struggle to finish well, I know I do and obviously so do the New York Giants.

Saint Paul had the right attitude. Read his words from Acts 20…

“But there is another urgency before me now. I feel compelled to go to Jerusalem. I'm completely in the dark about what will happen when I get there. I do know that it won't be any picnic, for the Holy Spirit has let me know repeatedly and clearly that there are hard times and imprisonment ahead. But that matters little. What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God.” (The Message)

Even though he knew the path ahead was difficult, including hard times and imprisonment, Saint Paul still felt compelled to finish his race. What a man! I wish he was leading the Giants today. Chances are they would have finished well with him at the helm.

Father, help me to finish well. May the fourth quarter of my life be even better than the first quarter. Do whatever it takes to produce in me the dedication, perseverance and endurance I’ll need to lead my team to victory, amen.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Twenty-One

There aren’t many rites of passage for American men. In religious circles it’s sometimes marked by baptism or bar mitzvah. In earlier cultures this coming of age was signified by the killing of a wild beast. In more modern times it’s marked by the day a young man receive his driver’s license or the day he leaves home for college. For others still, it’s marked by the passing of time, say a birthday, usually numbers 18 or 21. Today my son, my only son turns 21.

Though my son turns 21 today, he became a man a long time ago. He left home at age 17 to pursue his dream of becoming a film maker. The day I knew my son was a man was the day I saw that he was willing to pay the price to achieve his dreams.

Dream big dreams my son. Aim high and give it all you’ve got. I know you will make it. When I look at you I see a man, a real man, a man of character and integrity. I see a strong man who’s definitely got what it takes. I’m extraordinarily proud of you. I believe in you. I see the gifts and talents you possess and I’m impressed, big time. I admire your passion and I envy your creativity. Yes my son, dream big dreams for you were created to reach them!

Happy Birthday…

I love You…

Dad

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

More on Motives

Ok, I have some additional thoughts concerning yesterday’s post about motives. With clean motives and a pure heart you don’t need to worry about means and opportunity however, what do you do if your heart isn’t pure? What is one to do when dealing with unclean motives?

We all have the responsibility of dealing with our own motives, clean or unclean. Some of us have the responsibility of contending with the motives of others. Parents have this responsibility over their children, employers can have it when dealing with their employees and sometimes pastors have this responsibility with the members of their churches.

The natural inclination when contending with another’s perceived impure motives is to place restrictions on their means and opportunities. This works easily when a parent is dealing with their children and it can even work fairly well in the employer employee relationship. It gets more difficult however, when the authority structure of the relationship is less defined or enforceable. How much clout does a brother, sister, pastor or a friend really have in the life of another person? Honestly, only as much as they give you.

It’s very easy to get yourself in trouble when judging the motives of another person’s heart. Honestly, how can you really know for sure? I’ve found it is best to just leave it in God’s hands. It’s not my job to judge, even if I do have the responsibility of dealing with the consequences.

If I see a problem and I’m concerned, I can always pray. I can even discuss my concerns with the person. Beyond that, there really isn’t much I can do. If I’ve discerned correctly and my counsel goes unheeded, I’ll have an opportunity to love on that person in the midst of their consequences. If I’m wrong, I’ve saved a friendship by withholding judgment. I’ve learned the hard way that when I misjudge someone it will cost me dearly. Jesus put it this way in John chapter 8:

"Let him who is without sin among you be the first to cast a stone at her."

I think I’ll just leave my stones on the ground and keep my hands in my pockets.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Means, Motive & Opportunity

I’ve been a fan of Law & Order for years, I’ve even enjoyed some of the spin offs. When the detectives are trying to build their case they look for Means, Motive & Opportunity. If they can prove these three elements of the crime and attach them to a suspect, you know an arrest isn’t far away. What is true in the natural is often true spiritually. Violating civil law is akin to committing a sin. We commit sin when we have the means, the motive and the opportunity.

Let’s take murder as an example. The means would be a hand gun, let’s say the motive is hatred and the opportunity is being alone in a dark alley. Over the years I’ve watch Christians develop various forms of control to keep themselves from violating the law and committing a crime, aka sin. They institute spiritual gun control; if I remove the means to sin, I will not sin. Or they say that dark alleys are out of bounds, don’t go there. The logic being, no opportunity equates to no sin. With this objective in mind how many of us have thrown away televisions or records over the years?

Means and opportunity are external and we can have only limited success controlling them. Why, because we have incredibly creative minds. If I don’t have a gun, I’ll pick up a stick or a rock. If there are no dark alleys I can find some other equally secluded location. No, if we are truly going to overcome our propensity for sin, the change will have to be internal; we will have to address the question of our motives. If our motives are changed we can have a house full of guns or live in a dark alley and we won’t sin.

Ask yourself this question… why do you do the things you do? Discover the real answer to that question and you’ll discover your motives. Freedom, true freedom is found not in layers of laws and regulations but rather in a clean heart with pure motives. King David clearly understood this concept. I make his words my prayer.

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; see for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:23-24 The Message

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Friday, November 17, 2006

Time to go home…

While shaving yesterday morning I realized that I was looking into the same mirror, that more than 30 years earlier, I had looked into as I shaved for the very first time. Only now the face was older and grayer with more chin hair than hairs on my head. It was clear that time had passed, life had changed, I had changed.

Returning to my childhood home, seeing my Dad and my siblings brought back many memories. It was good to see family, old familiar places and old friends. Later today it will be nice, real nice to see my wife and daughter. Life goes on.

I had expected to have a divine appointment on this trip and I had two. I had hoped God would speak to me in the land of my fathers and he has. I returned to discover I was right to leave. Am I ready for this next phase of the journey? No more so that any other phase but, I am older and maybe a little bit wiser.

It has helped to go back as I look forward. The realization that I have come so far encourages me, giving me confidence to forge ahead. Like so many others I sense a shift in the Spirit and I feel challenged to step up. This trip has brought to mind St. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13:11

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

I return to my adult home from my childhood home with a renewed passion for the road ahead. Brooklyn is in my blood, always has been always will be but God is calling, adventure awaits and my heart will not be denied. In weaker moments I might consider taking the safer path or the easy way out but Fugheddaboudit, it’s not how I was made, it's not how I was raised.

Heavenly Father, bless my earthly father and help me to father those you have entrusted to my care. Give me the wisdom I need for this next leg of my journey. Give me eyes to see who and what and how. Grant me courage and faith to say yes and yes again and yes again… amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Real Pizza, Real Bagels and Real Life

I had two delicious authentic New York bagels for breakfast yesterday morning. Shortly afterwards my brother Ricky took me into the city. We took the B train to Times Square with it’s new building sized TV screens. We went to the ESPN Zone where he kicked my butt in two sports games. We followed that up with some real N Y pizza from famous Rays. I had a regular slice, a slice of Sicilian and chased it down with an ice cold beer. Ricky had the same. We could have gone home then and the day would have been perfect, but then Ricky asked me if I wanted to go to Ground Zero.

I left New York more than 13 years ago and hadn’t been to ground zero since. We were a block away on the corner of Trinity & Rector and I could feel the heaviness in my spirit before I could see it. Even though the site looks much like a construction zone instead of a destruction zone it was undeniable that life altering, world altering events took place there.

Around the corner we discovered an impressive bronze monument dedicated to the memory to the brave men of the NYPD & NYFD who lost their lives on that fateful day. Captain Tim Stackpole’s name was engraved along with all the others. Timmy was a childhood friend. Right now I can see the back of his childhood house from my window. With a huge lump in my throat I fought back the tears, bent down and allowed my fingers to trace over the letters of his name. I prayed for his soul and peace for his family. Ricky & I walked away quiet for a long time.

The night ended with dinner at Dad’s, the whole family showed up. It’s the first time all four kids and Dad have been together in many years. We ate, told old stories, ate some more and brought each other up to date with new stories. I felt loved to the extreme. I even had a cannoli for desert!

Father, thank you for brining me back, thank you for family, for love and for sacrifice. May we never forget. Have your way today, give me eyes to see what you are doing and faith to follow your lead, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Goin Back ta Brooklyn

I flew back East this morning to visit family. My flight from Pasco, WA to Salt Lake City was uneventful. Salt Lake to JFK was another story. Long flight made longer by weather problems, but I arrived safely none the worse for wear. I took a cab from JFK to my father’s house in Marine Park. It’s been a long time since I rode on the Belt or down Flatbush past Kings Plaza. Each image sparked a childhood memory.

It’s fun to be back in the house I grew up in, so many happy memories and fun stories. My brother came by and we talked and laughed the night away. I’ll be here until Friday morning. Over the next few days I’ll get to spend time with the whole family. It’s been a very long time since my dad had all four of his kids together in one place. Tomorrow will be a day for special pictures.

Before I left, I had a sense that God was sending me on this trip. I suspect I have some type of divine assignment while I’m here. I have a strong sense that God will reveal something significant to me while I’m in the land of my fathers..

I’m stunned to have between 100 – 200 hits a day on this site. Would all the Emancipation of the Freed readers out there please remember me in pray this week? I don’t want to miss this spiritual assignment and I want to hear what the Lord has to say. I believe it is going to be important. I wonder, could it be that I have been brought back to the land of my fathers so that THE FATHER may speak to me? Yeah, it could be just that.

Yo Gad, It’s me, I’m in Brooklyn – yous talkin ta me?

© Tom Zawacki 2006

(Brooklyn Bagles for Breakfast - YEAH!)

Friday, November 10, 2006

D@rowr

In Luke chapter four Jesus announced his public ministry by quoting the prophet Isaiah:

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor"

The Hebrew word translated freedom is דְּרוֹר (d@rowr) pronounced der-ore’. BlueLetterBible.com’s Hebrew Lexicon defines it as:

1. Swift flight, gyrations as a swallow wheeling in flight.
2. A free spontaneous and abundant flow of myrrh.
3. Liberty, freedom, to proclaim liberty to anyone as in the year of liberation of slaves also known as the year of jubilee.

The metaphoric application of freedom to a bird in flight is easy to comprehend. The author’s intent, employing the use of דְּרוֹר seems an obvious reference to the year of jubilee. But what of this free flowing myrrh. This has tweaked my curiosity.

Myrrh is a perfume. It is fragrant and sweet to smell but very bitter to the taste. A quick word search on BibleGateway.com reveals three prominent biblical references to myrrh.

1. As a gift of the wise men to Jesus &, Mary
2. As an ointment brought by Nicodemus for use in Jesus’ burial
3. And as a perfume referenced repeatedly in the passionate interaction between the Lover and the Beloved in Song of Solomon.

Could it be that freedom in Christ is both bitter and sweet? That it is extremely passionate? That it is present at birth and in death, the beginnings and the ends? I can look back over my short life and say yes.

Jesus, I want the fullness of freedom you secured for me. I want it all, the bitter, the sweet, the passionate, the life and the death. Come and do in my life what the prophet Isaiah foretold and you proclaimed, set me free, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Picture credit: “Flowing Passion” by Javier Lopez Barbosa

Qin'ah

Jesus clears out the money changers and the reaction of the disciples is to recall Psalm 69:9 “…zeal for your house consumes me…”

The Hebrew word for zeal is קִנְאַת (qin’ah) pronounced kin-aw’. It’s defined as:

Ardor, zeal, jealousy
1. ardor, jealousy, jealous disposition (of husband)
~ a. sexual passion
2. ardor of zeal (of religious zeal)
~ a. of men for God
~ b. of men for the house of God
~ c. of God for his people
3. ardor of anger
~ a. of men against adversaries
~ b. of God against men
4. envy (of man)
5. jealousy (resulting in the wrath of God)

Anyway you interpret it קִנְאַת is a powerful word. It expresses extreme emotion. It communicates intensity. It accurately describes the burning desire of my heart. It’s exactly what I’m looking for, passion.

I am a passionate man. I want to live a passionate life. I want to live what I am.

Is the American church ready for truly passionate pastors? Is it ready for a pastor who behaves like Jesus? I wonder. The part of my job that I hate, I just despise, is the expectation that I be nice. No matter what happens, no matter what is said to me, not matter what anyone else does, the eternal expectation is that the pastor is suppose to be nice. What a load of crap.

Is it possible to be passionate and nice at the same time? Not always. I grieve the fact that nice has become my default position. What would happen if passion became my default position? I might have to choose a new profession.

Jesus you were a passionate man, put in me the same passion that was in you and the courage to live it, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

“You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.” Garrison Keillor

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Fully Alive?

While searching the web I came across this quote by early church father and Bishop of Lyons St. Irenaeus “The glory of God is man fully alive”. No doubt Irenaeus had John 10:10 in mind…

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

What does it mean for me to be fully alive? What does it mean for me to have life to the full? If this is why Jesus came and it gives God glory, I’ve got to know the answers to these questions. John 10:10 has two sides, the death side and the life side. Which side am I living on? Do I even know the difference?

Well, the work of John Eldredge has been helpful. In his best selling Wild at Heart Eldredge writes that a life fully alive includes freedom, passion and adventure. I couldn’t agree more.

So the logical questions are… what am I passionate about? What adventure am I on? Where do I experience the greatest freedom? If I can answer these questions I’ll find the path to life. To be sure if freedom, passion and adventure are missing, the thief has been at work.

Time for a gut check…
Am I willing to pay the price? ...I have to.
Will there be pain on the adventure? ...There always has been.
Is passion risky? ...Oh yes, very, that’s what makes it exciting!
Is freedom expensive? ...It will cost me everything.
Is it worth it? ...Yes, absolutely yes!

Jesus thought so, enough to die for me.

Father, I want my life to glorify you. I truly want to live fully alive. Put to death in me that gravitational pull toward the safe side of faith. Increase the passion, freedom and adventure in my life. And with it, give me the courage, guts and boldness I’ll need for the journey. Let this be the day, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

"In the cage there is food, not much, but there is food - outside are only great stretches of freedom."
Nicanor Parra

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

End of Your Rope

I woke up this morning feeling blue. I’m not sure why, but things felt somehow off balance. I tried to shrug it off and busy myself with the administrative side of ministry. My logic was if I don’t feel good, as least I can be productive. It helped for a few hours.

About lunch time I’d accomplished enough to satisfy my need for productivity and decided to pray. I poured my heart out asking God to reveal to me what was going on and why was I feeling this way. Heaven didn’t open, angels didn’t appear and I didn’t hear an audible voice. However, after a short while I did feel impressed to read the Beatitudes. Actually, I never got past the first one. Matthew 5:3 says…

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”.

This launched me into a study of the three key phrases in this verse, “blessed”, “poor in spirit” and “kingdom of heaven”. I checked out various translations, read commentaries and researched theological dictionaries. I usually enjoy this type of research and today was no exception.

“Blessed” means to be happy, not happiness based on external circumstances but rather on an inner certainty, security. “Poor in spirit” is a great term to study, there are many and varied opinions of its meaning. In a nut shell it means to have a humble opinion of ones self, to see yourself as destitute and bankrupt without God. The best short definition I could find for “the kingdom of heaven” was “The dynamic Reign of God, the assertion of God’s authority over the evil one and his deeds”.

With all of this theological research, employing the vast resources of the internet and my substantial home library, the clearest and simplest interpretation I found for Matthew 5:3 came from Eugene Peterson’s The Message

“You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

You know what, that works for me

Father, where I’m weak, be strong. Meet me at the end of my rope. In every area of my life let there be less of me and much more of you. Make me holy. Make me humble, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Monday, November 06, 2006

Watch Your Step

I’m still pondering the connection between Freedom and Responsibility. Is it fair to say that one measure of a person’s character is how responsible they are with their freedom? Yes, I think it is a fair measure.

OK, here's the progression…

Step 1: I’m free to act
Step 2: I decide to act
Step 3: I act
Step 4: There is a reaction to my action
Step 5: I respond to the reaction

Step one is a reflection of my freedom. Steps two, three and five are reflections of my character. Step four is a reflection of another’s character.

If I’m free to act, the actions I take as well as the way I respond will reveal my character or the lack there of. If I’m irresponsible and exhibit poor character in steps two and three the price is high in steps four and five. However, if I’m responsible with my freedom and exhibit great character in steps two and three, the price is lower in step five. Step four may yet be out of my control.

So, do I want to pay now or pay later? I’m convinced that humility is the key to responsibility in freedom. In Luke 14:11Jesus put it this way:

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

If I exalt myself, my opinions, my desires, my preferences and my wants in steps two and three, you can bet that I’ll be eating humble pie by step five. However, if I choose the low road in steps two and three God’s grace will be with me and He will vindicate me if I’m worthy of vindication. At least that’s how I understand 1 Peter 5:5-6

“…All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

Lord, make me wiser. Give me wisdom. Give me eyes that see step five from step one. Make me holy. Make me humble, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Freedom & Responsibility Continued


I have a passion for freedom. As a pastor I have encouraged my people to pursue the fullness of freedom, the freedom Christ won for them on the cross. We have explored this freedom in how we do church. We’ve passionately expressed freedom in the look of our facility, the style of our worship, the way we dance and the artwork hanging on our walls. Another expression of this freedom is our pursuit of spiritual gifts. We eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophesy to paraphrase 1 Corinthians 14:1. I want to live a supernatural life and that personal passion has worked its way into the spiritual DNA of our church.

This passion for freedom has taken us out side the proverbial church box. I like it that way and so do most of the folks who are part of The Bridge. However, have you ever noticed that when something is different, it sticks out? In some ways we at The Bridge stick out. Christians and non-Christians alike have noticed that there’s something different about us - not better, just different. There’s a responsibility that comes with that difference. Our freedom has come with a built in responsibility.

If we want to be different and allow others to witness that difference, we have a responsibility to live our lives in holiness and humility. We have a responsibility to be men and women of character and integrity.

If we’re unusual, unique, different or outside the box without character, people will simply think we're weird and disregard us. On the other hand, if we choose to buck the status quo but live lives categorized by love, peace & joy… people will not only notice, they’ll want some of it for themselves.

Lord, help me. Help us. May we be a people, your people – living out the fullness of freedom with character, holiness, humility and love, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Freedom & Responsibility

While writing yesterday’s blog entry I came across an article written by Elizabeth Lane Lawley. Her blog titled Mamamusings had an insightful article titled “The Freedom / Responsibility Curve”. On August 3rd 2006 she wrote…

The Freedom/Responsibility Curve
Lane and I are in my office this evening, and we just heard a staff member and a student having a discussion in the hallway. The staff member was (I think) talking about his small child, and he was bemoaning the fact the child seems not to appreciate how good his or her life is.

In an aggravated tone, the staff member said "I mean, you get the first five years of your life free, and maybe the last five years, and the rest of the time in between you're working your ass off at school or at work. Why can't kids appreciate how good they've got it during those first five years?"

Lane looked at me and said "It's true, isn't it?"

And I said "Not if you pick the right job."

We talked about it a bit, and I ended up drawing this curve on my whiteboard:


Little kids, I told him, have few responsibilities, it's true. No school, no work. But they have very little freedom to match that. Other people tell them what to do, and how and when to do it.

As you get older, your responsibilities increase, but along with it so does your freedom.

If your responsibilities get too overwhelming, your freedom starts to decrease again, to where you have no time to do anything than what's required of you by others.

So, somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot...where you've got enough responsibility to be able to earn your freedom, but not so much that you're trapped by it.

I don’t know anything about Ms. Lawley but she seems to be onto something here. There is a direct connection between Freedom & Responsibility. Just this past week I had the opportunity to learn (yet again) that although I may have the freedom to act a certain way, I’m still responsible for my actions. Freedom to act is not freedom from responsibility. Saint Paul put it this way in his first letter to the church at Corinth:

Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Lord, I ask to be both free & responsible. I pray that in my freedom I might do those things that are permissible, beneficial and constructive… amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Friday, November 03, 2006

Uncle Ben Was Right


Like most Christians I was saddened to hear about Ted Haggard’s moral failure. As of this evening’s news reports he has admitted to purchasing methamphetamines and receiving massages from the male prostitute who has made the accusations against him. Though the timing of the accusations have a clear political motive, it seems that at least some of them are unfortunately true.

Mr. Haggard’s failure is the latest in a long line of ministers who have had very public falls from grace. These men represent almost every theological perspective and cross many denominational lines. This tells me that none of us are immune.

Promotion is a scary wonderful thing. Most of us work long and hard all our lives to be promoted. We celebrate when we finally reach our goal, that’s the wonderful part. The scary part is that the higher we go, the less grace we have. I’m reminded of Uncle Ben’s words to his nephew Peter Parker in Spiderman 1

“With great power comes great responsibility”

Promotion usually means an increase of influence. What we need to remember is that influence is a doubled edged sword; it can cut for good or for harm.

Lord give me grace, give Ted grace, make us holy, keep us humble… amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

Death by Ministry


By Mark Driscoll

At our recent Reform & Resurge Conference in Seattle, my good friend Pastor Darrin Patrick from The Journey in Saint Louis spoke frankly of the burden that pastoral ministry is. I have pushed myself to the edge and over the edge of burnout throughout my nearly ten years in vocational ministry. Subsequently, I have been doing a great deal of research that I am compiling in hopes of not only improving my own life but also the lives of the leaders at Mars Hill Church and the churches in our Acts 29 Network. As a leader I commonly set the pace of ministry for those under me, which can lead to wholesale burnout of others if I don’t learn this lesson and teach it to others. The following points that I pray are helpful are some brief thoughts from what God has been teaching me as of late. Lastly, the fact that at least twenty-two separate organizations exist in the U.S. solely to deal with pre- and post-pastoral burnout indicate that this is a widespread problem that has only been identified and researched since the 1950s.

Part 1 — Some Statistics

The following statistics were presented by Pastor Darrin Patrick from research he has gathered from such organizations as Barna and Focus on the Family.

Pastors
  • Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.

  • Fifty percent of pastors' marriages will end in divorce.

  • Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.

  • Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

  • Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.

  • Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.

  • Almost forty percent polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.

  • Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.

Pastors' Wives


  • Eighty percent of pastors' spouses feel their spouse is overworked.

  • Eighty percent of pastors' spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession.

  • The majority of pastor's wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry.
Part 2 — Some Signs

The following are indicators that ministry leaders are heading toward burnout, if not already there. Sadly, we too often become so focused on our tasks and responsibilities that we fail to see these warning signs until it is too late.

  • unusual mood swings that may include weeping without just cause, anger, or depression

  • Exhaustion

  • Paranoia and suspicion

  • Weight change, including gain or loss

  • Moments of panic and feeling totally overwhelmed

  • Fantasizing about dying or running away to get away from the pressure

  • Fight-or-flight cycles where you rise up to intimidate and conquer others or run away from difficulties just to avoid them

  • Insomnia, including difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep, which can lead to a reliance on sleeping pills

  • Too frequent use of alcohol or tobacco

  • High blood pressure

  • Comforting yourself with unhealthy foods packed with fat, sugar, and simple carbohydrates

  • General irritability

  • Reckless driving

  • Change in sexual desire of either noticeable increase or decrease

  • Notable ongoing sexual temptation

  • Health-related issues such as irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, heart trouble, chronic sickness, and stomach problems including ulcers

  • A victim mentality that sees the world as against you and everyone as an enemy to varying degrees

  • Shopping sprees and unnecessary financial spending

  • Reliance on caffeine to self-medicate

  • Children, friends, and loved ones begin to feel like yet another burden
Part 3 — Some Solutions

The following are simply some things I do in my own life that I have found helpful to prevent me from dying a death by ministry.

1. Fill your plate

In a conversation with Pastor Wayne Cordeiro of New Hope Christian Fellowship in Hawaii, he gave some very sagely advice. He said that each person’s plate is a different size; each person needs to first find the size of their plate and then fill it only with those things that are of highest priority. And, before adding any additional things to our full plate, we must take something else off to leave space for the new duty. Finding the size of one’s plate takes time and attention. For example, I have personally seen that high-level leaders have an energy level that is unusually high and those working under them who seek to keep up with their pace find themselves quickly burning out

2. Exercise

Sadly, most pastors and Christian leaders I know are woefully out of shape. Many of them pound their pulpits against rock music and alcohol while their huge gut jiggles in mockery of their own gluttony. In the early years of our church plant, I ate poorly, slept infrequently, and lived off of the constant adrenaline of perpetual stress. As a result, I weighed 235 pounds at my highest point. Through regular diet and exercise I dropped back down to a lean 190 pounds. But in the past year I have seen my weight climb back up to 210 pounds as my diet and exercise routine has been trashed by laziness, travel, and the constant state of emergency. So, yesterday I cleaned out my garage and plugged my treadmill back in so I can resume daily running and lifting conveniently at home. I got started exercising this morning. I find that when I work out, I drop weight, feel better, sleep better, and am better able to lead out of health with energy. The experts say the best time to exercise is in the morning and those who work out early in the day are most likely to remain on an exercise regimen.

3. Do not allow technology to be your Lord

A recent issue of Fortune magazine had an insightful article about the average day of some of the most successful CEOs in the country. These people lived lives ruled by technology, including spending whole days each week doing nothing but obsessively responding to every single email they received. The article mentioned that the average American worker is interrupted once every eleven minutes and takes twenty-five minutes to refocus on their original task. The problem is that the alarms and bells of our technology deceive us into reacting to them even when the matter they call us to is neither urgent or important. So, turning off the chime and vibrate on your phone, only checking your voicemail and email on certain days at certain times, and turning the notification off on your email will itself go a long way toward your healing. You won’t have the unpredictable fire drill caused by the bells of technology. Imagine what the world must have been like before the 1200s when the first mechanical clock was invented, or before minute and second hands were added in the 1600s, or before 1879 when Edison produced the first light bulb, thereby enabling us to stay up all night.

4. Sabbath

This includes taking five minutes off every hour to catch your breath, go for a walk, stand up at your desk, etc. It includes taking thirty to sixty minutes off a day to nap, go for a walk, read, garden, or whatever else releases your pressure and helps you to relax. This also means taking one day off a week to Sabbath, including a date night if you are in a serious relationship or married. This also includes a day or two off a month for silence and solitude and a few weeks a year for an actual vacation that does not leave you more tired than before it began.

5. Pick a release valve

Because ministry causes pressure, any leader without an acceptable release valve will either burn out from stress or blow up from sin. So, the key to releasing pressure is to find and use an acceptable release valve. This may include exercise, gardening, a hobby, journaling, or my favorite, dropping the top on my Jeep and heading into the mountains for a day of adventure to find new lakes to swim in.

6. Work on your life, not just in it

Rather than just pulling more hours and trying harder, time needs to be regularly taken to pull back and look at your life so that you can work on it rather than just run in it. For me this includes printing out my schedule every few months to review how I spent my time and inform my assistant of what was a waste of time that should not happen again. This also means taking time to read books on the issue of time management and burnout and biographies of great leaders to learn from their lives, and possibly even taking time to meet with a Biblical counselor to get insight on your own life and tendencies.

7. Leave margin

When we push our bodies, schedules, minds, and budgets to the point where there is no margin, all that it takes to destroy us is one unforeseen expense, one small emergency, or one small cold. Therefore, leaving margin is the key to not being crushed when life does not go according to plan. This means leaving extra money in the bank, leaving extra time between appointments, and preparing to arrive at places early so that if there is traffic you will still be on time and not stressed.

8. Spend most of your time training leaders

While thousands of people came to see Jesus, only a handful really knew Him, and only three knew Him intimately. This is because Jesus spent his time training leaders to do ministry and without doing the same we will die from our work and sadly see it die with us as well.

9. Work from conviction, not guilt

Conviction comes from God and guilt comes from people. The key to being both fruitful and healthy is to do what God wants and not always say yes to or let yourself be pushed around by people who are demanding and have perfected the art of making you feel guilty if you do not do what they demand.

* Originally prepared for an elders' meeting at Mars Hill Church on May 22, 2006.
** © 2006 Mars Hill Church. (This material is free to use, but not to be re-published or sold.)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I'm a Christ Follower

You know, sometimes you just need a good laugh. These guys created a pretty funny parody of the Mac vs. PC commericals

Enjoy,
Tom





Weeding My Garden


My adult son lives about three and a half hours away from us. I picked him up earlier today and took him back with me. He’s having a tonsillectomy in a couple of days and will be recuperating at home. The hours alone in the car were profitable. The popular words of Psalm 46:10 came to mind “Be still and know that I am God”.

Over the past year I have discovered again and again the value of being still before God. He delights to reveal himself to me in those quiet times. Sometimes the busyness of life gets the best of me and I allow myself to be robbed of this precious gift. The past few days have been very busy. It was nice to have the alone time in the car.

The miles brought clarity then conviction and finally peace. The Lord reminded me that I will reap what I sow. It’s a truth, a natural and spiritual law that is inescapable. If I sow carrot seeds - guess what, I get carrots. If I sow tomato seeds I’ll get tomatoes. I can’t expect to reap cherries if I sow radishes.

For me the application was clear… the way I treat others is the way I will be treated. If I sow anger, I will reap anger. If I sow mercy, I will reap mercy. If I sow pride, I will reap pride. If I sow humility, I will reap humility. If I sow grace, I will reap grace and if I sow love, I will reap love.

Father, Jesus said you are The Gardener. Gardener come, tend my garden. Plow my soil. Remove my weeds. Remove my thorns. Remove my stones. Change my crops to your crops until your fruit is borne in me, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006