My First Tattoos

Well, I finally did it. August 12, 2010 I got my first tattoos. Three of them. I've been considering this for a long time, about four years. I knew what I wanted, where I wanted them and why. I found a great artist and Nadine gave me her blessing. They look awesome, I couldn't be happier.

The First: "Qin'ah"

Qin'ah is Hebrew meaning, passion or zeal. It's from Psalm 69:9 and John 2:17 "Zeal for your house will consume me." Passion is one of the four elements of my personal ethos, I wrote about it back on October 26,  2007. The color red can mean a few different things. One interpretation of red is wisdom. Passion needs to be tempered with wisdom, thus red was the primary color. Why the left forearm? Well, I have had a few spiritual experiences where God reveals part of his nature or character to me. I have had multiple experiences with The Spirits of Wisdom & Revelation (See Ephesians 1:17). In those experiences Wisdom has always been on my left with Revelation on my right.

The Second: "Dĕrowr"

Dĕrowr is Hebrew as well and it means freedom or liberty. It's from Isaiah 61:1 and Luke 4:18  where Jesus said that "He was sent to bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives". Freedom is another aspect of my personal ethos. Blue represents revelation and the revelation of truth will set people free. This tat is on my right forearm.


The Third: "Philos Theos"

Philos Theos means "Friend of God" or God's fond one. It's taken from James 2:23 where the patriarch Abraham is called the friend of God. One of the most important lessons I've learned on my spiritual journey is that the highest place I can attain is not found in ministry, but in relationship. The location was inspired by a friend Keith. He says "It's like the tag of a shirt to remind me of who I am." I like that, thanks Keith.


The Artist: "Brian Paul"
I found Brian at Kings Avenue Tattoo using Google. Their work is amazing, their shop is impeccably clean and extremely professional. Not only does Brian do great work, he's a really nice guy. I recommend him wholeheartedly!


The Pain
You know what, tattoos hurt! But it's an odd kind of hurt. Different than anything else I've ever experienced. While actually being tattooed the Philios Theos far and away hurt the most. However, afterward Qin'ah has been the most irritated - sort of like a nasty sunburn.. All in all I'm extremely pleased!

Shiny Broken Pieces

Awoke at 3:00 AM, can't seem to sleep.

Watched the season premier of House tonight. The main character is a brilliant but very broken physician. This episode opens up with our extremely gifted yet horribly flawed hero in a state mental institution... as a patient. The next two hours portrayed his journey to emotional honesty. The writers and actors did their jobs very well.

It made me think.

I'm broken too. I cover up my my brokenness effectively but that doesn't mean I'm whole, I'm not. I'm still broken. I've learned how to ignore my pain and how to coexist with my pain and even how to function at very high levels in spite of my pain. But none of these things, not one, has healed or removed my pain.

I could go on like this, broken yet functional, for a very long time and most would never know. Our culture is ill-equipped to deal with flawed leaders, the church even less then society. I have learned how to see the good in every circumstance and situation. When life has given me lemons I've used them to make very tasty sermon illustrations. I'm more entertaining but I'm still broken. Others are refreshed, heck, some are even inspired - but me, if I'm truly honest I have to admit, my pain still remains.

"Com' on Tom, count your blessings..." I do have many, much more than I deserve.

"Look at the lives you have touched..." Wow, more than I could ever have imagined, I'm humbled, eternally grateful - the lemonade has gone a long way, a very long way.

But about that pain...

Papa, two bouts of cancer have broken me in ways I can't begin to express. The physical toll, as expensive as it has been, is easily eclipsed by the emotional and spiritual. Please take all my fractured pieces. Some have been hidden away for a very long time. Others I have have kept well polished and as presentable as possible. I have no idea how to repair them, some don't seem to fit together any longer. I'm pretty sure that many just need to be replaced.

Papa, I offer you my heart, please be gentle, it's been through a lot and it's been broken for a very long time, thanks. Well, it's almost 4:30, I'm going back to bed and see if I can get a little more sleep, goodnight.

Visual Ethos

My Visual Ethos using Wordle

Safe vs. Good

In C.S. Lewis’ classic “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” Peter asks the Beavers if Aslan is “safe”. Mr. Beaver offers a profound and revealing response…

“Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

“Safety” along with its twin brother “comfort” have become foundational tenets of American church culture. In our compulsion to grow our churches - making them sensitive, welcoming and inviting we have emphasized the nature of God characterized by the Dove and the Lamb while forgetting that He is still very much the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

Somewhere over the past few decades we began to portray God as safe and with that label has come the notion that he is not only safe but weak and small and powerless as well. Sadly God has become smaller in our eyes and sadder still, we have become bigger.

If the truth be told, we would honestly admit that we do not know him. We know of him. We know his stories. We know what others have told us about him. But we do not intimately, personally and experientially know God. For if we truly knew him - The Lord of all lords and King of all kings, the Creator of all that is or ever was, if we truly knew this all powerful, all knowing Lord of Glory, we would know like Mr. Beaver that – no he isn’t safe, but he is indeed very good.

Maybe like me, you’re dissatisfied with a safe, controlled, constrained, in the box kind of God. Maybe like me you long to personally experience the majesty, sovereignty, awe and wonder of the Lion, the good Lion?

If so, know this, He’s always been there and He’s waiting for us even now – just outside the boundaries of our traditions, our rituals, and our comfort zones. If you listen you can hear him, in that mighty roar is the call of your name… go after it, go after him. Is he safe? Of course He isn’t safe, He’s a Lion, but he is very good and you can trust Him!

© Tom Zawacki 2008

What Will You Fight For?

What are you willing to fight for?

What are you willing to suffer and bleed for?

What are you willing to die for?

Your Life?

Your Family?

Your Faith?

Freedom - Yours and Others?

Passion, Love?

Destiny?

Truth?

My horse is ready, I'm fully equipped, reins in my left hand - sword in my right. Who will stand with me? Who will join me at the crossroads of evil and love... saying thus far and NO MORE! Who will ride with me? Who will fight with me? Who will bleed and if need be die with me?

Oh God raise up men of honor and valor in this hour, true men, leaders with passion in their eyes and fire in their bellies, men like William Wallace who refuse to bow to evil, men who will stand for truth. Oh God raise up such men, oh God make me to be just such a man.

Oh God,

Oh God,

Oh God...

(C) Tom Zawacki 2008

Superman

My entire life I have been fascinated by supernatural phenomenon. As a small boy I would often daydream and fantasize about having super powers. During these daily adventures I would fly, exhibit super human strength and I always, and I mean always, beat up the bad guys. As you can well imagine, I loved reading comic books and of all the many and varied superheros to choose from Superman was. of course, my absolute favorite!

Maybe it’s because on the outside I felt like the mild mannered, nerd-ish and often ridiculed Clark Kent. But inside, deep inside, hidden under all my disguises, I knew I wasn't a Clark Kent, I was really a Superman. Doing right things right, rescuing the damsel in distress, defeating evil and fighting for truth, justice and the American way! Yeah, that was me, that’s what was really hidden behind those nerdy glasses.

Alas, I am no longer a child… but Superman still lives in my heart.

I am 48 years old and I am convinced today more than ever that I was indeed created to live a supernatural life. You see, the most super of all men to ever walk this Earth, He lives in my heart. And nothing is impossible for him, nothing! He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres - He never fails!

His love has given me the courage to shed my Clark Kent disguises… little by little, day after day I’m learning to live in my skin. It feels weird but it feels... good, it feels... free. It feels... real. Now if I can just find a phone booth… ;)

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Ethos

Ethos: the distinguishing character, sentiment, moral nature, or guiding beliefs of a person, group, or institution (Merriam-Webster online dictionary)

Somewhere over the past year, amid the myriad volumes that surround me, I stumbled upon the word “Ethos” and I liked it.

For me, ethos flows more naturally than “Vision Statement”, Mission Statement” or “Statement of Purpose”. I could be wrong and you may disagree but stating my personal Ethos feels more organic than the vision or mission statements I have labored over in the past.

Identified and articulated or not, we each have a personal ethos and like it or not it’s impacting our decisions and modifying our journeys. Not only that… our personal ethos will impact any group or institution we influence, be it family, corporations or congregations. I have pastored The Bridge for seven years and it’s obvious that my ethos has, in large part, influenced the ethos of the church.

I hope to better articulate my personal ethos as I become more self aware. Until that day, these four distinguishing characteristics will suffice.

1 -FREEDOM
Exploring the fullness of freedom we have in Christ

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1) I want to live completely free and help others to do the same.

2 -PASSION
For God, one another & life

When describing what is most important Jesus told us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength and the second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30). To me this sounds like an “all you've got” kind of love, now that’s passionate! I want to be a man who loves God and people passionately..

3 -SPIRIT
Living supernatural lives in the power of the Holy Spirit

I’m not content to live an intellectual academic faith. I want to experience God.

4 -DESTINY
Fulfilling our purposes & reaching our God given destinies

We were created for a reason, I want to fulfill mine and do all I can to help others fulfill theirs.



What’s your ethos?



© Tom Zawacki 2007