Desiring the Kingdom

"to be human is to be a lover." ~ James K. A. Smith


James K.A. Smith - Desiring the Kingdom: Worship, Worldview, and Cultural Formation from Calvin College on Vimeo.

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Why vs. What

Freedom is Worth the Fight!

Breaveheart is one of my all time favorite movie.  I love Wallace's passion for freedom, it inspires me. What are you willing to fight for? What stirs your passion? What are you waiting for? Let's ride!




"Fight and you may die. 
Run and you will live... at least awhile. 
And dying in your bed many years from now,
would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that 
for one chance, just one cahnce, to come back here as young men 
and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take 
our freedom!" ~ William Wallace

Jump!

I stand at the edge of another grand life transition.  Six months ago I arrived in Texas with high hopes and great vision.  I leave having made wonderful new friends and with fresh vision for a new calling, a call back home.  

My time in the Dallas Fort Worth Area was short but eventful.  Just a few weeks after my arrival I discovered that I was no longer in remission, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma had returned.  I would once again face this long and demanding battle.

It seems appropriate that my final chemotherapy treatment was but days prior to my departure.  By the grace of God this dreaded disease will fail to follow me to New York.  I never want to face or fight this giant again.

I'm filled with joy at the thought of returning to pastoral ministry.  Six months behind a desk steeped in administrative duties reminded me how very much I love people and how much I enjoy pastoring them.  I'm excited to return to the land of my birth, the land of real pizza, bagels and cannoli.  The land of my father and my family, the land where I met my wife and where I met the Lord.

I'm eager to bring home all the lessons I learned these past 16 years on the road.  The complete vision has yet to be revealed but this I know, we are to...

• Live Love
  
• Be Light in the Darkness
  
• Export Freedom
  
• Passionately Pursue His Presence
  
• Help People Reach their Destinies
  

That ought to keep us busy for a while.

In a few hours the movers arrive to load the containers, a day later Nadine and I will begin a 15 day road trip back home. Along the way we'll visit many old friends in Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia and Pennsylvania.  Seems like great preparation for making many new friends in Lindenhurst, NY.

My life has been one major Isaiah 55:8-9 life lesson after another... 

"His ways are not my ways, they are higher then my ways."  

The journey hasn't always been easy but God has been in it and it has been one very exciting and dynamic adventure after another.  This next leg of the journey could be the best of them all!

Without hesitation or reservation I'm diving in, I'm going deep, I'm all in... who wants to jump with me?

© Tom Zawacki 2009

Risk

Dictionary.com defines RISK as “exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance.” That being the case, I imagine that the opposite of risk then is to avoid said exposure - this chance of injury, loss, hazards or danger… to play it safe, to be prudent, practical, reasonable and logical.

What role does risk play in the life of a Christian? Often scripture reminds us that “The just shall live by faith”. Now that sounds pretty risky. The writer of Hebrews makes it clear that “without faith it is impossible to please God. And that sounds pretty necessary.

Let’s take it a step further. Saint Paul exhorts us to “live by faith and not by sight”. The Apostle isn’t referring just to eyesight but to insight. The life of a Christian is a life lived by faith and the reality is - that’s risky.

Walking on water is irrational. Feeding lunch to five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish is impractical. A battle plan to simply march around your enemy’s encampment seven times is illogical. Sending a boy armed with only a sling & five smooth stones against a fully equipped, gigantic warrior is foolishness... according to our earthly wisdom.

Paul was right again when he penned these words “…the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.” Truly, God’s ways are not our ways. Our ways make sense to us, this is true, but God’s ways are higher than our ways, much higher, as high as the heavens above higher. Our ways do not make sense to God, he’s not impressed with them and his challenge is for us to reject our ways and follow his seemingly illogical, impractical and irrational ways.

Consider the following verses…

• "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Jesus)

• "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;” (Jesus)

• “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Paul)

• I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Paul)

• “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (Paul)

Not one of those verses sound risk-free to me, none of them sound safe. This life of faith won for us on Calvary’s hill is a life filled with risk and adventure. I for one have decided to reject the safe plateaus of life and instead go for the high risk options by following my God - where ever he leads.

I may be old and round and gray but passion surges through my veins as light floods my eyes and love beats from my heart. Adventure awaits, there are battles to fight and victories to be won. Of course it’s risky, but I wouldn’t have it any other way – and neither would my Father.

My horse is ready; my sword is in my hand, will anyone ride with me?

Let’s Go!

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Happy Father's Day

A Dad wears many hats; one of them is that of the wise counselor. A good Dad is always ready to offer wise, godly counsel to his sons and daughters. On this Father’s day I offer 12 nuggets for your consideration…

1. Pursue Freedom

Christ paid a huge price for your freedom, take advantage of it, settle for nothing less and live it to the full.

2. Love Extravagantly

You were created by Love, for love and to love – it’s why you are here. Love with all you got and hold nothing back – Jesus didn’t. Of course you’ll get hurt, but its worth it! After you’ve been hurt, love again, the deepest love is the post wound love – it’s the most genuine and often the most passionate.

3. Forgive Quickly

Unforgiveness is like cancer, you don’t want it inside you. Keep short accounts with God and man. Life is way too short to waste on guilt, shame, anger, resentment or bitterness.

4. Respect Everyone

Maybe it’s a New York thing? For me, respect is a high personal value. Some people are worthy of your respect and some aren’t, however, treating them with respect says more about you then it does about them.

5. Dream Big

Dream God sized dreams. Don’t ever be satisfied with fear based, man sized dreams. Nothing is impossible for God and nothing is impossible with God.

6. Don’t Quit

Of course life is hard but your dreams are worth it. Enjoy the good days, endure the bad days and just keep going forward. Your circumstances don’t define you, don’t let them stop you.

7. Take Risks

You’ll never learn to fly with your feet on the ground and walking on water requires leaving the boat. Nothing great has ever been accomplished by playing it safe. God has lots of grace for mistakes, go for it!

8. Live Supernaturally

We are tripartite beings: physical, emotional and spiritual. There is another dimension all around us – the realm of the Spirit. It’s scary wonderful, it’s exciting, it’s where we will live forever and it’s available to you now.

9. Explore Creativity

Try new things, write, paint, sculpt, sing… you’re never too old. Creativity adds color to life, play with the colors – God is really into color.

10. Give Generously

Of your time, your talents and your treasure. Have you ever met a stingy person that you liked? It’s in the nature of God to be generous and His nature is alive in you. Take the best of what God has given you and then give it all away.

11. Embrace Passion

If creativity adds color to life, passion adds fire. Don’t fear godly passion, embrace it. It’s the rocket fuel for your journey and the God given homing device to your destiny. What are you passionate about? Go that way!

12. Know God

It’s the most important of them all. Above and before everything else be a “Friend of God”. Ministry is a poor substitute for intimacy, don’t settle. Cultivate that relationship in everyway you know how, learn new ways and then cultivate it some more. It will cost you everything but it’s still the best deal in the universe.

Happy Father’s Day

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Live a Life Worthy

This afternoon, after church I made some lunch for Nadine and we caught the end of “Saving Private Ryan” on cable TV. That movie ALWAYS touches something deep inside of me, this time was no exception. By the end of the movie I was in tears - as usual.

I’ve posted two YouTube clips. The first one above is the movie’s final battle scene where a mortally wounded Captain John Miller tells Private James Ryan, with his dying breath, “Earn this…. Earn it” and he dies.

The next video clip (above) is of a much older James Ryan, with his family visiting the grave site of his former captain. Ryan turns to his wife and in desperation pleads “Tell me I’ve led a good life. Tell me I’m a good man”

For me this is when the tears flow, almost as if on cue. It gets me – deep – every time.

Countless times since I first saw this movie I have turned to my wife and asked her the very same questions the older Ryan asked of his wife. I need to know - I have to know!

I can’t help but consider St Paul’s words to the church at Ephesus as I watch these final scenes – they’re ringing in my ears …

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1)

Hmmm… am I? Am I living a life worthy of the calling I have received? Am I living a life worthy of THE life that was sacrificed for me? Am I? Am I really? No, not today, not this day – some days… maybe, but not this day.

Forgive me Lord.

Lord, make of me a man, a real man. Give me heart, your passionate heart, Your Lion’s heart for the road ahead. One that will never quit, one that never back down, never roll over and never surrender to my enemy and yours. Instead make of me - just such a man who’ll stay on the field of battle until every last prisoner – be they man, woman or child, is set free and my mission is truly accomplished. Make me that kind of man – one wholly worthy of his calling… in Jesus name I make this request – amen!

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Safe vs. Good

In C.S. Lewis’ classic “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” Peter asks the Beavers if Aslan is “safe”. Mr. Beaver offers a profound and revealing response…

“Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

“Safety” along with its twin brother “comfort” have become foundational tenets of American church culture. In our compulsion to grow our churches - making them sensitive, welcoming and inviting we have emphasized the nature of God characterized by the Dove and the Lamb while forgetting that He is still very much the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

Somewhere over the past few decades we began to portray God as safe and with that label has come the notion that he is not only safe but weak and small and powerless as well. Sadly God has become smaller in our eyes and sadder still, we have become bigger.

If the truth be told, we would honestly admit that we do not know him. We know of him. We know his stories. We know what others have told us about him. But we do not intimately, personally and experientially know God. For if we truly knew him - The Lord of all lords and King of all kings, the Creator of all that is or ever was, if we truly knew this all powerful, all knowing Lord of Glory, we would know like Mr. Beaver that – no he isn’t safe, but he is indeed very good.

Maybe like me, you’re dissatisfied with a safe, controlled, constrained, in the box kind of God. Maybe like me you long to personally experience the majesty, sovereignty, awe and wonder of the Lion, the good Lion?

If so, know this, He’s always been there and He’s waiting for us even now – just outside the boundaries of our traditions, our rituals, and our comfort zones. If you listen you can hear him, in that mighty roar is the call of your name… go after it, go after him. Is he safe? Of course He isn’t safe, He’s a Lion, but he is very good and you can trust Him!

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Passion & Conviction!

In my previous post I issued the challenge “What Will You Fight For!” coupling it with one of my all time favorite movie scenes from Mel Gibson’s Braveheart. Answering my own question “What Will I Fight For” left me with a pile of refuge I realized I am NOT willing to fight for.

One of the cable networks has been playing Gladiator repeatedly the past few days. I love that movie. It stirs passion within me at a very deep level.

Most movie quote websites prominently posted the revenge scene dialogue where the now Gladiator Maximus finally has his opportunity to stand face to face with Emperor Commodus the former friend who murdered his way to the throne including Maximus’ wife and young son. Removing his mask Maximus reveals his true identity to a stunned Emperor Commodus and says:

“My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. I will have my vengeance, in this life... or the next."

Powerful scene, but not my personal favorite, the picture at the top of this post is from an obscure scene earlier in the movie. Here the yet to be murdered Emperor Marcus Aurelius (played by Richard Harris) offers the Roman Empire to Maximus – and I love his reply.

Marcus Aurelius: You have proven your valor once again, Maximus. Let us hope for the last time.

Maximus: There is no one left to fight, sire.

Marcus Aurelius: There is always someone left to fight. How can I reward Rome's greatest general?

Maximus: Let me go home.

Marcus Aurelius: Ah, home.

Marcus Aurelius: Won't you accept this great honor that I have offered you?

Maximus: With all my heart, no.

Marcus Aurelius: Maximus that is why it must be you.

Like Maximus, I will NOT fight for fame, for fortune, for title, for position, for glory, for a worldly measure of success, to build my own kingdom, or any man’s kingdom. Oh God make me a man after your own heart. May your passion surge through my soul! May I have the passions and convictions of Wallace and Maximus until my final breathe – so be it.

© Tom Zawacki 2008

What Will You Fight For?

What are you willing to fight for?

What are you willing to suffer and bleed for?

What are you willing to die for?

Your Life?

Your Family?

Your Faith?

Freedom - Yours and Others?

Passion, Love?

Destiny?

Truth?

My horse is ready, I'm fully equipped, reins in my left hand - sword in my right. Who will stand with me? Who will join me at the crossroads of evil and love... saying thus far and NO MORE! Who will ride with me? Who will fight with me? Who will bleed and if need be die with me?

Oh God raise up men of honor and valor in this hour, true men, leaders with passion in their eyes and fire in their bellies, men like William Wallace who refuse to bow to evil, men who will stand for truth. Oh God raise up such men, oh God make me to be just such a man.

Oh God,

Oh God,

Oh God...

(C) Tom Zawacki 2008

Simply Amazing

I’ve been a follower of Jesus for more than 30 years. Over the past three decade I have lived through spiritually good, bad and down right ugly times. Right now is one of the good times. God feels closer. It’s easier to pray, it’s easier to hear and to see. The word is alive to me. I’m purposefully savoring every moment this time because I have known those other times all too well.

The prophet Isaiah challenges us to “Seek the Lord while He may be found”. Then he finishes the verse by exhorting us to “…call on Him while He is near” (55:6). At least for me, right now, He is near and easily found.

I’m convinced that some of the fruit of our 40 days of city wide prayer and fasting has been a thinning of the veil between Heaven and Earth. I’ve found that if I seek Him I find Him. It’s that simple and that amazing. I’m seeking Him for Him alone. Not Him for what I can get or want or need but just for the pleasure of being with Him. That’s the simple part. The amazing part is that when He shows up He brings all of the astonishing attributes of His character, His nature and His power with him. And oh my, He truly is astonishing!

I have no magic formula. No three steps to “Astonishing Intimacy with God”. All I do is show up and so does He. These are good days. I’m going to keep showing up. You might consider showing up yourself.

© Tom Zawacki 2008

30 Amazing Years!

Thirty years ago today I remember waiting for you to arrive. I was on a mission, a mission from God. I knew you’d show up, I just didn’t know when, so I watched and I waited and I watched some more. Peeking through stacked cans of juices and vegetables. Looking over and around wooden display cases brimming with fresh orange, red, brown, green and yellow produce. As the morning pressed on I became increasingly eager for your arrival and then, as without notice, I caught a glimpse of you between the neatly stacked five pound bags of russet potatoes and the three pound bags of yellow onions.

It was only a second but I knew it was you, even from across the street between four lanes of traffic; a lock of your beautiful auburn hair caught my eye as you turned into the local pizzeria, best girl friend Julianna in tow. You didn’t stay long with those handsome Italian boys but too long for my taste. I watched as you proceeded down the street, crossed at the light, waited for one more traffic light to change and then… and then you were headed my way, finally heading right for me.

I postured myself outside in the cool February daylight, leaning against an overflowing vegetable stand, legs nonchalantly crossed at my ankles and arms folded across my chest. A smile I could not contain betrayed the confidence I felt that bright Saturday morning. You see, the night before God told me that you were the one, I knew it was Him and I knew He meant you.

The following moments would forever change my world and I’ve never been happier. A beautiful young woman with amazing exotic eyes, beautifully long hair and GREAT legs walked right up to me. She looked me in the eye and oozing with girlish charm asked me to escort her to her junior prom. Without a moment’s hesitation I said yes and the rest, as they say, is history.

Thirty years, two amazing kids, three houses, three churches and thousands of lives later, I love you more today then every before. You’re my wife, my partner, my lover and my very best friend. Thank you for asking, thank you for risking, thank you for believing, thank you for saying “I DO” that one special day and “I Will” so many days since.

I love you Nadine Marie, I always have and I always will…

Forever Yours,

Tom

© Tom Zawacki 2008

(Photo Credit: Photo Booth, Kings Plaza Shopping Mall, Brooklyn, NY circa 1978)

Oh God, Where are the Real Men?

Where are the Davids who will run to the battle armed with only passion and five smooth stones against a massive giant and his armor bearer?

Where are the Davids who will dance before the Lord with all their might and not be ashamed?

Where are the men like Jesus who will tell the Pharisees that they are indeed white washed tombs filled with dead men’s bones?

Where are the Elijah’s who will challenge the false prophets, mock their false gods and dare them to pour more water on their unconsumed offering?

Where are the Peters & Johns who rather obey God than man?

Where are the Pauls and Silas’ who will pray and worship at midnight after being stripped, beaten and thrown in prison for demonstrating the gospel?

Oh God where are the shepherds who will kill the wolves that threaten your sheep?

Oh God, where are the real men with enough backbone, courage and guts to never quit?

Oh God, save us from leaders who walk in more fear of man than fear of You!

Save us from pastors who are better politicians than preachers!

Save us from leaders who are more comfortable with compromise than truth!

Save us from all the meaninglessness that fills your church!

Oh God have mercy on us and rip from our souls timidity, cowardice and passivity.

Oh God, where are the real men, the husbands, the fathers and the leaders who do not love their lives so much as to shrink from death?

Where are the uncompromising men of conviction with fire in their eyes and passion in their bellies?

Where are the real men, those warriors, those lovers of freedom who refuse to rest while others live enslaved?

Oh dear God give us real men, true leaders willing to pay any price, endure any trial and face any persecution to see your kingdom advanced and your name glorified!

Oh dear God, give us real men who will stand in the breach, face evil eye to eye and say, “Thus far and no more! Not in my town! Not in my church! Not in my house! Not here, not now, not this day, not ever! To get to them - you have to go through me!”

Oh God, where are the real men?
Oh dear God, where are the real men?
Oh God, give us real men?

Oh God, make ME a real man.

Amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2008

Ethos

Ethos: the distinguishing character, sentiment, moral nature, or guiding beliefs of a person, group, or institution (Merriam-Webster online dictionary)

Somewhere over the past year, amid the myriad volumes that surround me, I stumbled upon the word “Ethos” and I liked it.

For me, ethos flows more naturally than “Vision Statement”, Mission Statement” or “Statement of Purpose”. I could be wrong and you may disagree but stating my personal Ethos feels more organic than the vision or mission statements I have labored over in the past.

Identified and articulated or not, we each have a personal ethos and like it or not it’s impacting our decisions and modifying our journeys. Not only that… our personal ethos will impact any group or institution we influence, be it family, corporations or congregations. I have pastored The Bridge for seven years and it’s obvious that my ethos has, in large part, influenced the ethos of the church.

I hope to better articulate my personal ethos as I become more self aware. Until that day, these four distinguishing characteristics will suffice.

1 -FREEDOM
Exploring the fullness of freedom we have in Christ

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1) I want to live completely free and help others to do the same.

2 -PASSION
For God, one another & life

When describing what is most important Jesus told us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength and the second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30). To me this sounds like an “all you've got” kind of love, now that’s passionate! I want to be a man who loves God and people passionately..

3 -SPIRIT
Living supernatural lives in the power of the Holy Spirit

I’m not content to live an intellectual academic faith. I want to experience God.

4 -DESTINY
Fulfilling our purposes & reaching our God given destinies

We were created for a reason, I want to fulfill mine and do all I can to help others fulfill theirs.



What’s your ethos?



© Tom Zawacki 2007

To The Core

I grew up a city kid. As typical Brooklynites my brothers and I loved sports. From sun up to sun down we’d spend our days around the corner on East 34th street playing stick ball or street football. I was 12 when my parents purchased that house - Dad still lives there. I can remember exploring the house with my brothers the day we moved in. When we reached the garage it was like finding Ali Baba’s treasure! We were overjoyed to find boxes and boxes filled with little league baseball equipment. We had uniforms, balls, bats, bases, mitts and even catcher’s gear. For three pre-teen boys it was like hitting the lottery.

I remember this one particular day, my brother Robert and I were playing catch in the alley back behind our house. We took one of the brand new baseballs from our treasure trove and practiced taking grounders on asphalt for hours. It was great fun. After many hours of fun filled abuse this once shinny, spotless and slick baseball had given up the ghost. The ball’s cover was torn revealing it’s stringy guts. I couldn’t have been more excited! I had to discover what was in the center of a baseball.

I sat on the floor, right there in our back alley and furiously tore the remnants of that poor tattered ball apart until I found the small, hard, red core at it’s center.

Hmmm… the core, what’s at the core? I’ve been thinking about that lately.

Sometimes I feel like that abused baseball… tattered, torn and well used with my guts hanging out. Maybe times like these are the right time to inspect my personal core and see what’s really in there?

If I peel back all my layers what would I discover at my core? Beyond the physical part of my nature, beyond my education and experiences, beyond my titles, positions and responsibilities, beyond my relationships… what’s really in there? What is my small, hard, red core composed of?

I see Passion

Passion for God ~ Passion for People ~ and Passion for Freedom.

What’s at your core?

© Tom Zawacki 2007

Go This Way...

Yesterday’s video post found a place to land in my heart. The paragraph I highlighted in red landed the hardest.

“The top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010 didn’t exist in 2004.
We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t yet exist . . .
Using technologies that haven’t been invented . . .
In order to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.”

If this is true, it ought to impact what we teach our children. I believe that we need to offer them the highest levels of academic and technical training available. However, we shouldn’t stop there. More is need, more than just information.

Proverbs 22:6 says:

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

This generation needs more than the coordinates of their destination. They need more than directions from a Google map to get from here to there. They need to be trained in the way they should go.

On “the way” consider these questions…

Who are you on the journey?
What values guide you?
What passions propel you?
What beliefs sustain you?

We can only give away what we ourselves possess. I’m committed to giving away what I’ve discovered on my journey.

~ That freedom is contagious and attractive. It’s hard to gain, easy to lose and worth dying for, ask Jesus.

~ That passion though dangerous is essential and when tempered with wisdom, brings extraordinary joy to living.

~ That the supernatural life of the Spirit is much more accessible than previously thought and more amazing than we ever imagined!

~ That knowing God intimately and personally surpasses everything else combined.

If we can impart these essential elements into the next generation, they will be ready for the future even if the future isn’t yet ready for them!

© Tom Zawacki 2007

Photograph by Andy Andrews

Holy Discontentment

To be discontent is to experience a lack of contentment or satisfaction. It’s a restless desire or craving for something you do not have. Holy Discontentment is when this condition is caused by God.

Many of us are presently experiencing this holy discontentment. Deep within we know that we have been created for more. It’s our destiny we sense and it feels almost within reach.

It’s in the nature of man to seek comfort and safety. However, the very essence of faith is constructed of the uncomfortable and risky. Sometimes the Holy Spirit needs to stir us out of our lethargy by reminding us of our callings and destinies. At the same time, the enemy of our souls is willing to tempt us with something less than our full purpose.

Questions...

Have you felt this Holy Discontentment?
Can you identify with that nagging sense of dissatisfaction?
What do you know that you know, deep down inside your heart?
What is your passion?
What has God created you to do?
What is it that God has called you to?
As you peer above from your present plateau, what do you see?
What are you waiting for?

Know this, it’s not too late!

I believe that 2007 will be a breakout year for many. Much of the ground work established in recent years will pay off in the months ahead. I exhort you to go for it. This is the season to press ahead and take that leap of faith. Now is not the time to quit, now is Not the time to give up, now is not the time to run away!

Use the discontentment you are now experiencing to propel you forward instead of allowing it to grind you to a halt. It could be... it just could be God who is stirring this desire within you.

Oh God put to death in me comfort with the status quo. Continually stir up discontentment within my heart until I reach the fullness of my destiny in Christ. May I never be easily satisfied with only a portion of your purpose for me. Let passion for you burn within me until I am completely yours. I ask this in Jesus’ name, amen.

Qin'ah

Jesus clears out the money changers and the reaction of the disciples is to recall Psalm 69:9 “…zeal for your house consumes me…”

The Hebrew word for zeal is קִנְאַת (qin’ah) pronounced kin-aw’. It’s defined as:

Ardor, zeal, jealousy
1. ardor, jealousy, jealous disposition (of husband)
~ a. sexual passion
2. ardor of zeal (of religious zeal)
~ a. of men for God
~ b. of men for the house of God
~ c. of God for his people
3. ardor of anger
~ a. of men against adversaries
~ b. of God against men
4. envy (of man)
5. jealousy (resulting in the wrath of God)

Anyway you interpret it קִנְאַת is a powerful word. It expresses extreme emotion. It communicates intensity. It accurately describes the burning desire of my heart. It’s exactly what I’m looking for, passion.

I am a passionate man. I want to live a passionate life. I want to live what I am.

Is the American church ready for truly passionate pastors? Is it ready for a pastor who behaves like Jesus? I wonder. The part of my job that I hate, I just despise, is the expectation that I be nice. No matter what happens, no matter what is said to me, not matter what anyone else does, the eternal expectation is that the pastor is suppose to be nice. What a load of crap.

Is it possible to be passionate and nice at the same time? Not always. I grieve the fact that nice has become my default position. What would happen if passion became my default position? I might have to choose a new profession.

Jesus you were a passionate man, put in me the same passion that was in you and the courage to live it, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

“You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.” Garrison Keillor

Fully Alive?

While searching the web I came across this quote by early church father and Bishop of Lyons St. Irenaeus “The glory of God is man fully alive”. No doubt Irenaeus had John 10:10 in mind…

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

What does it mean for me to be fully alive? What does it mean for me to have life to the full? If this is why Jesus came and it gives God glory, I’ve got to know the answers to these questions. John 10:10 has two sides, the death side and the life side. Which side am I living on? Do I even know the difference?

Well, the work of John Eldredge has been helpful. In his best selling Wild at Heart Eldredge writes that a life fully alive includes freedom, passion and adventure. I couldn’t agree more.

So the logical questions are… what am I passionate about? What adventure am I on? Where do I experience the greatest freedom? If I can answer these questions I’ll find the path to life. To be sure if freedom, passion and adventure are missing, the thief has been at work.

Time for a gut check…
Am I willing to pay the price? ...I have to.
Will there be pain on the adventure? ...There always has been.
Is passion risky? ...Oh yes, very, that’s what makes it exciting!
Is freedom expensive? ...It will cost me everything.
Is it worth it? ...Yes, absolutely yes!

Jesus thought so, enough to die for me.

Father, I want my life to glorify you. I truly want to live fully alive. Put to death in me that gravitational pull toward the safe side of faith. Increase the passion, freedom and adventure in my life. And with it, give me the courage, guts and boldness I’ll need for the journey. Let this be the day, amen.

© Tom Zawacki 2006

"In the cage there is food, not much, but there is food - outside are only great stretches of freedom."
Nicanor Parra

Wild at Heart

A few years ago an old friend sent me a copy of John Eldredge’s “Wild at Heart”. Eldredge’s insights into the heart of a man (and some women) resonated within me. It quickly became a favorite read. Recently my wife & I have been taking turns reading Wild at Heart to one another just before going to sleep. It’s has been a blast. I especially enjoy our dialogue when a section touches one of us.

Last night I was reading page 48 where Eldredge posses the question “WHAT IS A MAN FOR?” He writes and I quote:

“Why does God create Adam? What is man for? If you know what something is designed to do, then you know its purpose in life. A retriever loves the water; a lion loves the hunt; a hawk love to soar. It’s what they’re made for. Desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny.”

Desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny… hmmm.

I’ve been a Christian for over 30 years, I’ve lost count of how many times someone has asked me “What has God called me to do”? Could it be that Eldredge has given us a key to unlock this mystery? I think yes. Everyone I know would like to fulfill their destiny, I know I surely would! Could it be that God created us with a built in homing device to lead us to it?

Beginning from a place of Godliness…

What are you passionate about? What excites you? What are you eager to do even when you’re exhausted? What fire within you is continually burning? What would you be willing to do even if you never got paid to do it? Answer those questions and you’ll discover your desires. Design and Destiny were created to follow.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. One aspect of that freedom is passion. The church has effectively told passion that it is bad, disorderly, messy and unsafe. Then proceeded to locked it away in a closet and threw the key away. Is it any wonder so many Christians are clueless concerning their destiny? Their God given homing device has been disconnected!

Godly passion freely expressed is one of the truest signs of freedom. Godly passion suppressed is one of the truest signs of bondage.

So my friends, I dare you… find that closet, rip off its locks, throw the key away, open the door and let light once again shine upon your passions. I dare you to take the risk, go ahead and be messy. In the process you’re sure to have some fun and who knows, you just might discover your destiny.

© Tom Zawacki 2006